Packing up the Bear Cave

Accepting != Complacent

We’re about to end our first chapter here in Houston in 16 days. A & I have been here for 10 months and we’re suddenly getting ready to move out of our first apartment and into the next one. And there are some people that can look back on their crappy first apartment together with a least a little bit of fondness… But we’re not those people.

The building management has done their best to help us out, but damn this little first floor apartment has been nothing but problems. Dark and drippy– aptly named the Bear Cave.

This isn’t to say that our first few month in this city have been a let down. Not at all. We are in an incredible neighborhood, staying grounded in our close friends and finding plenty of new ones, enjoying our shared life and learning to be good to one another.
We had a crash course in adulting and learned to make the best of what we had. We also put up with some terrible living conditions, at the expense of our mental and physical health.

I finally accepted that almost all of the anxiety meltdowns I have had since we got here have been rooted in some physical issue in our apartment. And it is so difficult to build a whole and happy life on a crumbling foundation. It's a massive challenge to focus on the higher elements life: love and spirituality and community, when you have to be worried about utility and safety.

It's been really hard for me to stay present in the 'now' when the 'next' seems like it's going to be so much better, but I'm trying to forgive myself for being distracted and work on what I can do now to be ready.

Accepting where you are in your life currently does not mean to be complacent. If where you are does not serve you and does not give you space to grow, know that where you are now can be a starting point. Any time. Any place.